Month: May 2016

How should I apologize?

Saying “I’m sorry” is, at root, an expression of regret—NOT guilt. We can tell someone we are sorry for something they are experiencing without taking the blame for it on ourselves. It is perfectly appropriate to empathize with others in this way, but when it comes to making a real apology,... read more

What if I really have done something wrong?

Sometimes, “embarrassment” doesn’t cover it: We’ve cheated, lied, or manipulated someone to get ahead. We’ve behaved recklessly or irresponsibly, endangering others in the process. We’ve cause someone—our ourselves—seemingly irreparable hurt. We look at what we’ve... read more

When should I say “I’m sorry?”

Making a good apology is essential for having healthy relationships. But knowing when and how to apologize is a lot more complicated than most of us expect. Is our apology sincere, or do we secretly believe someone else is to blame? Should we apologize to begin with, or are we allowing ourselves to... read more

I’m so embarrassed by the person I used to be…

­When we go through a huge change, it’s easy to look back at the person we once were and feel shame or regret. We obsess over things we said, decisions we made, ideas we held. We look back and say “how could I have done that? Why was I so stupid? I should have known better.” So how do we... read more